Sunday, November 07, 2004

New "Eric the Yellow" Svendsen Theme Song: "I Am a [the] Rock"

This song is from Simon and Garfunkel (1965; see lyrics). With just a few changes in the words, it perfectly describes the "flee for the hills and hide, so as to avoid any rational critique" mentality and tactics of anti-Catholic luminary / "apologist" Eric Svendsen. Other songs I considered for this parody included The Great Pretender (The Platters) and Running Scared (Roy Orbison), but I didn't think people would be as familiar with those older songs (it's funnier to read the words below with the tune going along in your head, with some knowledge of the original words). So here goes!:
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Reformation Day
In a deep and dark October; (1)
I'm alone on my "real Christian" blog,
Gazing from sublime heights on the damned below (2)
And a freshly written Catholic loudmouth's "show." (3)
I am The Rock, (4)
I am an Anti-Catholic.

I’ve built walls, (5)
And sophistry (6) deep and flighty,
That not one dissent may penetrate.
I have no need of dialogue; listening causes pain.
It’s reason and it’s logic I disdain.
I am The Rock,
I am an Anti-Catholic.

Don’t talk of Mary (7)
But I’ve heard the name before;
Her blind worshipers are idolaters.
I won’t disturb the slumber of defenses that are dead.
If I'd never lied I never would have fled. (8)
I am The Rock,
I am an Anti-Catholic.

I have my Bible
And my sophistry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room (9), safe within my tomb, (10)
I talk with none and no one rebuts me.
I am The Rock,
I am an Anti-Catholic.

And The Rock feels no shame;
And the Catholics always lie.

Footnotes

(1) Reformation Day is October 31st. Eric shut down the comments section on his blog on November 1st; less than five days after my first dissenting argument, against falsehoods he had written earlier about supposedly money-grubbing Catholic apologist speakers.

(2) Eric is notorious for proclaiming with a deluded, self-righteous certainty the eternal destiny of other folks: Catholic and Protestant alike. Here is an example from the CARM (Protestant) discussion board, on 15 April 2003:
I recognize that some people--and you are one of them--have rejected truth, distorted facts, and hardened their hearts to the point that they cannot believe and be saved, no matter what. I alluded to this before when referring to your spiritual blindness (2 Cor 3) and to the fact that your apostasy showed you were really never of us to begin with (1 John 2:19). It's sad, to be sure; but it's the cold, hard reality. My job is not to wring my hands until I have convinced you otherwise, contrary to what you may believe. Rather, my job is to be the "fragrance of life to those who are being saved and the stench of death to those who are perishing"(2 Cor 2:15-16). God must grant you repentance to life, and apparently he hasn't done that. God is glorified either way. To you, I am the stench of death; and if you are not among the elect of God, that's just as it should be. God is glorified even by your obstinate, hardened heart. Your increasingly entrenched responses indicates to me that you are simply storing up wrath for yourself in the Day of Judgment.

(3) I'm the "loudmouth," of course. Eric doesn't think much of the integrity of Catholics, generally speaking, let alone apologists like me (the lowest scum of what is already the "bottom of the barrel"). Here are some of his sweeping remarks about such people:
RC apologists will do or say just about anything--true or not--to advance their cause. They engage in the strategy of deception regularly.

(
4-27-03; emphasis his own)

Apologetics is exhausting and time-consuming work. Five percent of your time is spent propagating the truth, and the other 95% is spent defending your work and correcting the errors, misrepresentations, mischaracterizations—and, yes, lies—of those who seemingly have dedicated their very lives to distorting the truth and deceiving the uninformed. They always seem to come up with an “answer” to any truth statement issued from the Evangelical side. As I’ve indicated in previous articles, however, “answers” are not to be equated with meaningful and substantive responses. The former flows like water over the Niagara in the Roman Catholic apologetic world, while the latter always seems to be conspicuously absent.

(
"Reports of the Witch's Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated," November 2003)
(4) I.e., rather than St. Peter.

(5) No comments allowed anymore on his blog!!

(6) Sophistry = "unsound, misleading, specious, but clever, plausible, and subtle argument."

(7) In letters of 1-17-04 and 1-19-04, posted as part of a paper on his website, Eric described Catholics as "those who would raise Mary to the status of the Trinity and proclaim a false gospel that condemns" and described Catholic Mariology as follows: "With titles like these, who in the world needs an explicit statement that Mary is on par with the Trinity?" For further reading, see my paper: Dr. Eric Svendsen Sez Catholics Raise Mary to the Level of the Holy Trinity.

(8) . . . from defending his own false assertions in the wake of my extensive refutations of them.

(9) I.e., his two discussion boards or "rooms," one of which is for Protestants only (which is fine), but the other ("The Areopagus") is supposedly for anyone who will follow the rules. Yet Catholics who get the better of Eric or fellow anti-Catholic zealot (and incorrigible slanderer) David T. King are quickly, routinely banned. Thus, Eric is again "safe" from the terrifying burden of having to actually defend his ludicrous assertions.

(10) "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity" (Matthew 23:27-28; RSV).

Further Reading
(the sad recent exchanges that led me to do this parody)

Eric Svendsen: Catholic "Epologists" Are Getting Rich While Protestant Evangelists Preach the Gospel Selflessly For Free (Huh?)

Counter-Reply to Eric Svendsen on the "Unscrupulous & Greedy Catholic Apologists" Charge

Eric Svendsen's Use of The Didache to Condemn Catholic Apologist Talks Proves Too Much: No Paid Ministers At All?

"Exhorbitant" Catholic Answers Speaking Fees Compared to Other Speakers (Including Self-Described "Christian" Ones)

Eric Svendsen's Opposition to Free Speech, "Rc and rC epologists," & Free Exchange of Ideas (+ Response to a Bogus Charge by James White)

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