Friday, July 30, 2004
ALIEN LIFE FOUND AT LAST! A curious-looking creature, prone to empty polemics and Bush-bashing (though few understand the incoherent, inexplicable nature of much of what it is saying) emerged from its space capsule after landing in (of all places) Boston harbor yesterday. It will be kept in isolated detention until after the November Presidential election, due to its scary abilities to control the minds of, and implant illogical thoughts into those (particularly Democratic voters) who find themselves wanting to follow this weird thing. Sort of an extraterrestrial pied piper . . .