Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Basic Tenets of Leftist Fundamentalism

This comes courtesy of a forward from my friend Jared Olar; it was written by one Steven Plaut:

-- The Catechism Of Politically Correct Progessive Fundamentalism (PCP-ism)

November 19, 2003: I would like to most strongly suggest that we all STOP referring to the cult of leftism as if it were some sort of political ideology. I insist that from now on we all should refer to it as leftist fundamentalism. After all today's leftist belief system is a really a theology and not a political ideology.

So to get you into the swing of things -- having consulted with the cream of left-wing theologians in such bastions of leftist belief as Harvard, Stanford and the London School Economics -- I proudly present to you The Canon of Basic Tenets of Leftist Fundamentalism.

If you truly wish to convert to being a politically correct progressive (PCP), here is a list of the most important principles of PCP theology. Try to remember them all -- even if this requires an act of faith rather than reason -- so that you too can be a caring and open-hearted individual faster than you can say "race, gender, class" (the PCP Trinity):

1. The transformation of Cuba from Latin America`s wealthiest country into its poorest does not mean that socialism does not work.

2. The transformation of Russia from the world`s largest food exporter, before communism, to the world`s largest food importer, during communism, does not show that socialism does not work.

3. Comparing East Germany (before unification) with West Germany, or North Korea with South Korea, one cannot conclude that capitalism works and socialism does not.

4. The fact that Marx was wrong about every empirically-testable hypothesis does not mean that Marxism is wrong.

5. The fact that Marxism caused a conservatively-estimated 100 million deaths in the 20th century does not mean that Marxism is bad or a failure.

6. Those 100 million deaths notwithstanding, Marxists care about people.

7. Conservatives hate all people and small animals.

8. The fact that socialized medicine does not work anywhere does not mean that it would not work in America.

9. The fact that the green lobby was screaming just a few years back about global cooling (and sometimes still does) is no reason why its warnings about global warming should be regarded with skepticism.

10. The fact that black Americans live better on average than white people in Europe or Japanese people in Japan does not disprove the charge that black Americans are the most oppressed and impoverished people in the world.

11. If one country is rich and another poor, it must be because the rich one stole all the wealth away from the poor one.

12. Most Arabs are interested in peace, even though they prefer war.

13. National Public Radio is objective.

14. The New York Times is not liberal

15. Native Americans and Eskimos have always spent their days worrying about the environment.

16. All Christians are racists.

17. All Jews are racists.

18. Moslems can never be racists.

19. Blacks can never be racists.

20. Mowing your lawn and using insecticides is murder; partial-birth abortion is not.

21. Poverty is caused by low self-esteem.

22. Poor school performance is caused by low self-esteem.

23. Low self-esteem is caused by white, male capitalists.

24. The fact that Asian Americans make more money and are better educated than American whites does not disprove the claim that America is a racist country in which only whites can succeed.

25. If there are proportionately more blacks in prison than whites, it is because the courts and police are racist (and not because blacks commit more crimes).

26. Hollywood actors are more sensitive and caring individuals than the rest of us.

27. White, male corporate executives are all selfish, scheming, greedy polluters.

28. Workers in poor countries would be better off if all the overseas corporations were kicked out (even though the massive loss of jobs would mean they would no longer be workers).

29. Mentally ill people are better off on the streets than in psychiatric institutions.

30. Marching against AIDS helps prevent AIDS

31. Leftism is an ideology rather than a theology or a personality disorder.

[Dave Armstrong adds one more:

32. John Kerry is not a "liberal" because, you see, "labels" are not helpful at all in advancing the political debate. If he must be "labelled" at all (SIGH -- what an ignorant populace to absurdly desire category labels in the first place . . .), he is a "centrist" and "mainstream" politician, whereas President Bush is "extreme right."]

So you see, practicing the theology of PCP is easy -- just repeat three or four of the above assertions every day before breakfast, and you too will soon be a caring, compassionate, progressive humane person!

Steven Plaut
The Iconoclast

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